Online Devotions: accepting God's love

Sunday, April 22, 2018

I Don't Believe God Loves Me

April 22 (Hebrews 11:1, Mark 9:24)

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. (ESV)

“I believe; help my unbelief!” (ESV)

For the person who does not believe that God loves him, there is little in Scripture that can help. Oh, there are plenty of verses that speak of God’s love toward us, but the person who is struggling to accept that love will likely not take much comfort in them. At best they form a foundation for logical acknowledgment. I am a human being. God loves human beings. Therefore, God loves me. That is hardly the sort of thing we reach for in the blackness of despair.

A person cries out to God, “Do you love me…ME?” She wants to know she is loved because God sees her and knows her and loves her, not because she is loved by her default status as a member of the human race, and this requires faith. Faith is assurance and conviction even in, especially in, the face of overwhelming feelings or evidence to the contrary, and if we’re already doubting God’s love, such faith can be rather difficult to muster on our own.

So, what do we do? We cry out with the man to whom Jesus had said all things were possible for those who believe. “I do believe, Lord, but help my unbelief!” We hurl our doubts and fears and frustrations at Jesus. We fling them at Him angrily, because, if we are honest, we are angry with Him. We want to feel His love so badly, something is blocking that, and we are just tired, worn out, and…well…angry. Where are You, Lord? This is not a time to theologize that what is blocking our experience is sin or Satan and that we really should be angry at ourselves or at the devil. Jesus will take care of all that in due course. For now, take it all to Him in tears and rage. His love will not come, for it has always been there and always will be, and because that is true, He will help you experience it again.

Jesus, I don’t know where to begin. I need You. I need to feel and know Your love as never before. That much I do know. I don’t need a platitude or empty words. I need You, Jesus. Today, right now, I need Your love. Help my unbelief and restore me to a place of confidence and assurance in You. Amen.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Knowing That God Loves You

July 17 (John 21:23)

Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” (ESV)

One of the biggest challenges people face in accepting God’s goodness, His love, and His grace is the pain and suffering of others. If I really believe that God guided my decision on something at work, how can I square that with His apparent absence in an atrocity where innocent people died? Can I truly accept that He was involved in a small detail of my life but not in a far more significant matter of life and death?

I can only answer for the events of my own life. You can only answer for yours. We can use reasoning and logic with regard to free will and the fallen nature of mankind to try to understand horrific acts and God’s presence in them, but at the end of the day, I do not know why He does not reach in and stop tragedies. The only thing I can do is look at what He has done in my own life.

And what do I find when I look at that record? He has spoken to me countless times through Scripture, through the words of others, and in the depths of my heart. He has guided me and provided for me. He has heard my prayers and answered them. He has saved me. I cannot speak to anyone else’s experience of God, only to mine, and in the words of Joshua 24:15, as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, because as Paul once said to Timothy, I know whom I have believed (2 Timothy 1:12).

Father, You know how difficult it is at times for me to accept that You love me. Satan wants me to look at so many things to convince me that You don’t. Yet when I stop and look at things clearly and calmly, I see at once Your immense love and grace for me. Thank You, Father. May I walk always in close and confident relationship with Jesus, Who more than anything or anyone, is the living proof of that love. In His name I pray, amen.

History of Online Devotions

In January of 1999, I began the Online Devotions with the teens of the church we were attending. Each week they would receive a verse of Scripture, a short reflection, and a prayer. Over the years others subscribed to this email list, and soon the Online Devotions were going out to people across the country and beyond.

In 2007 I published in book format a collection called Desert Days: Forty Devotions for Men.

After suggestions from several readers, I launched in 2010 the Online Devotions blog. Devotions are still available each week by email, and if you would like to subscribe, please indicate so in the comment box.

As I have always said, if one of these devotions touches you, you can be sure it was from God. If one leaves you flat, then there was too much of me in it.